We at Geekvites can appreciate the campy and the geeky. And we’re just all sorts of special, so we were more than pleased to hear that MIB3 still kept to the campiness which made the original so endearing back in 1997.
(I mean, come on, Tommy Lee Jones + Will Smith + Aliens = EVERYTHING WE’VE EVER LOVED.)
But you know what’s missing this time around? THIS:
Just bounce with me.
Give that a listen, just for kicks. We’ll wait.
Now just stop for a second. Isn’t that beautiful?
You know what we got instead? You know what ISN’T beautiful? Pitbull. Yes. Some random international music…guy who had NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE sad face sad face upside down smile.
We want to rectify this. We want our man Will Smith to deliver us from Pitbull. DELIVER US FROM PITBULL! What we’re asking from YOU is your support to fix this lack of Smithitude.
Let us present our case to get Will Smith to do a MIB3 rap ( which, by the way, would totally make up for The Legend of Bagger Vance ):
1. Will Smith is a geek. A geek that makes this look good.
He even named his daughter Willow. (We know what that was really all about.)
2 . The Willenium is real and we’re living in it right now.
Let’s revisit the MIB video again – what did this do? It made the movie more appealing mainstream. Will Smith is a talented artist. He makes catchy music. He makes great scifi flicks.
Will Smith continues to bless the internet with weird things even today and he doesn’t even try; Woll Smoth, Tada, and more which are shamelessly ripped off and re-appropriated by unimaginative bloggers across the globe.
3. Will Smith is Always Available to Welcome You To Earth.
We ran out of ideas, so here’s a picture of Will Smith and the Earth. He welcomes you to it. We are shameless.
So believe us when we say, we just wanna Get Jiggy With It again. We mean it. Here’s an animated gif to prove our internet sincerity:
So, that’s why we’re introducing the Will Smith Equation. We put cats in it, because Will Smith is all about feeding cats in times of crisis. Seriously. Read these lyrics:
“Call up Ishkabibble’s!”
“And tell ‘em we need…”
“For like 300 cats!”
True story, bro.
Anyway, the equation. THE EQUATION is as follows:
At best, we hope that this becomes the spark that lights a revolution leading to a full fledged romp of goodness for a DVD extra.
At worst, we hope to get enough attention that Will Smith actually sees our sincere plea and decides to, I don’t know, rap about an unrelated non-Sony property about aliens on his MacBook while eating a bowl of cereal one morning for a couple minutes. Maybe they could even throw a pug in it. That’d be neat. Still a win.
Any amount of rappin’ Will Smith is better than none which, we remind you, is our CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS.
After going down this little walk down memory lane of Will Smith history (Willsmistory?) if you’re just a little bit sad, then join us in our Clarion Call for Will Smith to Make #newMIBraps!
IF YOU WANT TO SEE WILL SMITH BOUNCE AND SLIDE WITH SOME ALIENS as much as we do:
- Share this TLDR post
- Tweet #newMIBraps with your own pleas for the intergalactic SUPERSTAR.
- Reblog us on tumblr
- Vote for our horrible flagship image on Cheezburger
- Or, if you think we’re wickedly unfunny, you can make your own: http://geekvites.cheezburger.com/6273852416
With two cats and liberal use of the Impact font, we can change history for completely arbitrary and selfish reasons. It reminds me of a story of a boy whose life got flipped upside down…
Nevermind. We won’t go there. JUST GO MAKE WILL SMITH RAP, INTERNET.